Is Your Marriage Fireproof?

After complaining to my sister about our everyday small but consistent  arguments, she recommended watching the movie Fireproof. I usually make a mental note when someone recommends me a nice movie or a book, but somehow never get to actually check them out. But a week a after our conversation I happened to have time and a strong craving for anything inspirational and preferably relationship-related. So I watched Fireproof - and WOW! This movie got me into so much thinking and inspired to take a fresh look at our marriage and my role in it. Now I truly believe that Fireproof should be on top of the Movies About Marriage List, and a definite must-watch for couples on the verge of divorce.

Basically, the plot is pretty simple: a once happy, but now constantly fighting couple is surely heading in the direction of a split. Caleb's (the husband) dad interferes and suggests an experiment that can help save their marriage, and even if it doesn't, it least Caleb can live guilt-free because he tried. All he has to do is follow a plan given to him by his dad, which "prescribes" a specific action for each of the following 40 days. For example, day 1 - you can't say anything bad to your wife, day 2 - you have to tell her at least one nice thing, day 3 - you have to do something special for her, etc. Obviously it starts from the easiest and progresses to the hardest.

What appealed to me in this movie is how much I could relate - first to their arguments, where both the spouses seemed to have their point, but wouldn't hear each other, so it was hard to say who was more right or more wrong. Second, to how painful it can be to try day after day but get no reaction. Third, to how sooner or later if you put your heart in it and don't give up, your spouse has no choice but to respond to your efforts.

The most important point for me in the whole movie was that as Caleb thought he was working on changing his wife, he in fact was undergoing the change himself and at the end of the 40-day experiment he was a new person. He also saw all his flaws in the way he was treating his wife, in his unrealistic expectations , in how he was demanding respect without earning it. This is not a movie about how to change your partner,  it's about becoming a better partner which in its turn will bring all the desirable changes to your family.

If you want to fireproof your marriage, that is definitely a movie to watch and learn some lessons from. I hope you will get inspired as much as I did!