Happy Love Day to You!

I asked my husband: "Are we going out on Valentine's Day?" He responded abruptly: "no". Honestly, I didn't expect a different answer. His business has been really slow lately and with me still unemployed after being laid off 8 months ago, money is an issue. In fact dinner at the restaurant is a rather terrifying expense right now and it would shadow any joy we would derive from it. I still fear he will get me the flowers because he does so every year no matter what, now THAT would be a total waste of money. But then I start thinking that if he really wanted to do something nice for me, he would find a way. He would borrow the money to take me out. He would buy me a small inexpensive gift to show that he was thinking about me. Even some kind of a sweet gesture, a compliment, extra attention are still better than nothing. Yet it seems like nothing is all I get today.

But I'm not going this route of self-pity. Valentine's Day is when we celebrate love because we feel and want it, not out of obligation. I've seen enough men rushing to buy last minute flowers after work, their faces devoid of any emotion. Obligation, checking it off the list, living up to social expectations - but not exactly the feeling itself.

This is the day to give love and that's what it is going to be for me. Forget the restaurant, I'm going to make a nice dinner to express my love and gratitude to my family, because I'm not alone that day, I have someone to take care of. I will call all my single friends and wish them a Happy Valentine's Day and say something nice, because to them it's the hardest holiday of the year. I will call my mom and dad and wish them many more years of love, because they take so much pride in being together for more than 35 years and still going strong. Last night I helped my son design handmade Valentine cards to give to his classmates - it was a surprisingly enjoyable process! Today I will find more ways to give love by doing small acts of kindness for anyone I can. Writing this post is one of those little things and who knows, maybe someone who's feeling blue this day will read it and feel less alone and more hopeful. Maybe they will look at the "dreadful holiday" from my angle and see that there's place for them too in the pandemic celebration. Because we all can do it: create and expand this presence of love in our life and lives of others.

Valentine's Day divides people into those who feel excited and anticipate great things and those who are bitter-sad and expect nothing. I want to be among the excited folks. I don't want to sit and wait for the "love package" express delivery and brood over not getting one. I have too much love to give and that's what I'm going to busy myself with today. Happy Love Day, people, I'm thinking of you all and wishing you to receive love in many different forms but also find the way to release some of your love into the universe.