Returning home late last night, I took a taxi and was thoroughly entertained by the extremely chatty Mexican driver. He told me all about his life, his jobs, past and present, his upcoming divorce (“that’s life”, he sighed), and his 4 grown children. Then, probably in gratitude for my good listening, he switched to questioning me. “Are you married?” – “Yes”. – “Kids?” – “Yes, one.” – “Husband… good?” (like you can answer that in one word) – “Well, some days good, some days not so good.” ( I actually managed to come up with this very truthful answer) – “If husband no good – leave him”.
There it is. You hear a different variation of this solution to all marital problems all throughout your married life. Your mom says, “You could do better”. Your girlfriends hint, “find someone else, there's plenty of fish in the sea”. I should call it a walk-away approach. Like the earth is inhabited by princes and I was unfortunate to pick the only (well, one of the few) ugly toad. All I have to do now is wake up from this enchanted sleep and fall straight into the arms of the most noble flawless insanely-gorgeous male creature, patiently waiting on the steps of my castl... I mean suburban house.
And why exactly do I deserve to live side by side with this Mister Perfection? I don’t mean to depreciate myself, I think I have a rather healthy self-esteem whereas I accept that I am just human with all the imperfections that are inevitably a part of human nature. I would feel extremely bad for the Prince having to endure my usual morning sourness, somehow I feel my husband is better fit for the job for he knows I will pay him back by tolerating his occasional moodiness.
So I want to say to all my dear well-wishers: instead of chasing elusive promises of a better life with a better person, or dreaming of a phantom ideal relationship, I would rather try to dig for more hidden treasure in my imperfect husband, who happens to be the only man present in my nonfictional life.
1 comments:
Hi Layla
I am not an avid blogger but started the day hoping to find some opinions that would guide my dead marriage.Its good to know that you are ready to unlock mysteries hidden inside your "someday good,someday bad" husband. I strongly believe that people tend to drag such relationship because they fail to see a better life outside.I am now married for 9yrs and have a lovely 7 yrs old boy. Its easy to say that I waited so long because I wanted to give my child a normal environment to grow. But the fights are becoming too frequent,many a times right in front of my son. After every fight my husband will succeed in pulling him in his side by way of taking him out or buying him expensive gifts. I know the poor child needs to be diverted from domestic hatred that is brewing among us adult but this has caused a big gap between me and him. He wants to be with his dad and sometimes when he is angry he even tells me to leave the house(the way his dad says) and that he wants to be with dad and not me.All these years I waited for him to grow....like this?
Still I would have thought of continuing,had there been a life of little dignity.
He doesn't want to talk..recently I begged him to talk but he shouted" I don't Value you" so no need to talk. "Get out","Go to your dad's house","leave my house"...these words are regular. I don't know,how am I going to do it...I know right now there is nothing better outside....but after many painful and sleepless nights,I have come to the decision to give my life a chance to live with dignity.
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