From a Love Letter

"Every day the minute I wake up I start thinking about you. Nothing seems to take my mind off you. Even if I get distracted during the day, the pain just gets dull but then it reemerges with a new strength. Sometimes I feel like this pain is crushing me, its weight is more than I can take. On days like these I cannot get out of bed; on days like these longing for you begins to hurt physically. It hurts inside, it numbs my limbs, it drives me insane.

I lost any logical sense of what it is that I feel. It’s indescribable – too big for words, too tangled for analysis of any kind. I only know that there is YOU and that I LOVE YOU. There is no 'why' here – oh, I wish there was, if only I could name the reasons for my extreme feelings for you. If someone could tell me those are all the wrong reasons and I got healed. If only I knew what the cure was, if only I wanted to get cured. What used to be my world is so small now, things that used to matter seem too insignificant. It is always YOU no matter where I look, go, hide…. You’ve become my world, my heart, my breathing. It’s like drowning over and over in the overpowering feeling of love, that lifts me up and destroys at the same time. I do feel destroyed, and hopeless, and old, and weak. Tell me what to do? I am dying without YOU."