Why We don’t Believe in Men’s Promises

This morning I had a heated argument with Jonathan. The topic is getting old though: he wants another child. And I don’t. Not that I don’t 100%, I just don’t like to want unrealistic things. We don’t have financial stability – in fact we are very much in debt right now. We cannot afford to live on one income, and I know that I will have to stay home for at least two years since never ever will I dare to leave my baby with a sitter. But most importantly – I saw absolutely no help from Jonathan when I had Peter. In fact he was certain that he was entitled to be served on when he would come back home from work just because I was “staying home all day”. And he was working. Then he wanted his daily dose of TV to unwind and if the baby was making noise, he would demand that I took him to another room. He forgot all of this but I didn’t.

So now for 100th time I heard the same promises:

- He will work hard to improve our finances
- He will help me with kids and around the house
- He will spend time with kids and be a good father

So here is what some men have trouble understanding: we don’t judge you by what you promise to be or to do in the future – we judge you by the things you’ve done in the past. For they are the best projection of your future behavioral line in similar situations. We have all the evidence that we need that you won’t change. It’s up to us if we want to live with your weaknesses or to walk away, but every wife at some point stops fooling herself that your weaknesses will magically disappear.

If you want another child with me, stop promising to help me more once I have it! Help me today! Be a better husband, father, worker today! Show me those are not just meaningless promises. I don’t need you to beg me to have a kid, I want you to inspire me by your actions.